Snake Bite
by Noone the Virgin
Summary: There are no snakes in this story.


Though Ussop was excited to purchase the goggles, he had no money on him. The shopkeeper shooed him away and focused on a little girl that suddenly came in unannounced. "I'll buy the goggles, ma'am!" She said in an upbeat, cheery tone. Ussop's nigger lips spread wider than the Mississippi, seeing his beloved goggles swiped away by a child. As the girl ran out of the store, she turned around and gave Ussop a raspberry. Ussop ran after the girl, in a fit of rage. "Stop, you can't have those goggles!" He yelled. The little girl stopped and told him she could. As Ussop edged closer to the girl, she suddenly said, "Do you know who my father is, old man?"

"Old man? I'm not old!" "My father is a famous bounty hunter, Daddy the Rascal!" Ussop's afro shot up and his body froze. "D-D-Daddy? Him of all people?" He thought. "Hmm...Do you really want these goggles, Old man?" The girl said. "Yes! And I'm not old!" "Well, maybe you can help me with something. I wanna know what sex is." Ussop's boopadoops widened again. "SEX? WHY DO YOU WANNA KNOW ABOUT SEX-" The little girl held his mouth. "Quiet, you idiot! Let's go somewhere less crowded."

The young girl lead Ussop to an alley. Though a little dark, it was cleaner than it looked. "Okay, so tell me what sex is, old man!" She demanded. "I'm not telling you what sex it!" Ussop rebelled. The little girl slapped herself. "What are you doing?" "What you did to me." The girl ripped her dress a little. "Either tell me what you know or I'll tell my daddy you did something to me!" "D-did what to you?!" "What I want you to tell me. Now spill it!" Ussop sighed and began to tell the young girl the story of the birds and the bees. Her face lit up in awe, much to Ussop's dismay. After Ussop finished telling her the wonders of sex, she suddenly asked, "What does yours look like?" Ussop's dippadoos fell to the ground.

"No! I won't do that, NEVER." The girl lifted her dress, showing her frilly and fancy panties. "Why would you do that?!" Ussop asked, blushing. "Now you'd better show me yours or I'll say that you forced me to show you my panties." The girl sneered. Ussop, driven to tears at this point, unfastened his overalls and pulled down his striped boxers. "Oh, yours is different than mine!" "Wow, it's a little...tiny." The little girl giggled. "It isn't tiny!" Ussop yelled. "He's just...calm." "Calm?" "Yeah. When Ussop sees something thrilling, Ussop Jr. gets a little excited." "What gets Ussop Jr. excited?" The girl asked.

"Well, uh..." As Ussop thought of things that aroused him, he thought of Nami's modestly sized tits. The little girl looked at Ussop Jr. and shocked to see him growing bigger and larger. "It's growing, it's growing!" She shouted. Ussop looked at his member and blushed furiously. "You weren't supposed to see that!" "What's the matter, is Ussop Jr. sick?" "Y-yeah. He got stung by a bee." Ussop nervously chuckled. "Oh, no! We have to treat him immediately!" The young girl pushed away Ussop's hands and grabbed Jr. She checked it thouroughly. "If there's poison in Jr, I may have to suck it out." She told Ussop, who at this point was still and sweaty.

"See, the bite is affecting you, too!" The young girl put her mouth on the tip of Ussop Jr. and sucked it as hard as she can. "Can you feel anything?" She asked. "A-a little." Ussop answered stoicly. "Okay, Carol will go faster." Carol sucked faster and harder, as well as gripping Ussop Jr. to extreme measures. "Uh -oh...Here it comes!" Ussop said to himself. Carol was sucking so hard her cheeks were redder than Jeff Foxworthy's neck. Ussop clenched his teeth and grabbed Carol's hair, releasing his white poison into her mouth.

The two caught their breath for a moment. "We did it..." Carol said, checking her mouth. "What kind of poison is this? And why so much?" "Well, it isn't poison. It's, uh..." Ussop began to explain more about the reproductive system. "So Ussop Jr. wasn't sick?" "Nope. It was all natural." He confessed. Carol cleaned herself. "Well, as long as he wasn't sick. I kinda liked it for some reason." She started smiling. "Well, I think I'll leave now." Carol handed Ussop the goggles. "I don't really need them, I was just playing around." "Oh, thanks Carol, was it?" "Yep. See you around!" "Wait!" Ussop suddnely yelled to her. "Keep this all a secret, okay? Ussop Jr. is a little embarrassed by this all." Usopp was sweating and trembling. "Oh, okay! Bye, Ussops!" She blew a kiss and winked, then left. Ussop developed a grin bigger than Nicki Minaj's ass. "Eeeeeeeeeee, I can't believe I just did that to a young girl. Now if it were Nami, then I'd be bragging a little." Ussop put his clothes on. "Though, Sanji would kick my ass, probably." Ussop smiled, as he'd remember this day for the rest of his life.

The sick fuck.


End file.
